Mystic Dream
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If I were not so simplistic
I think I might become a mystic
Though warnings come from every side
"Be a fighter, save your hide"

First I'd need a mysterious name
To try and mask the shame, the shame
Of having made a choice so weak
Uncertain future, cold and bleak

Ah, now I could begin the Quest
(This my first proof I'm oppressed)
Tell a healer I'd be callin
So they could save me when I'm fallen
Crossing plane, hiding in lee
Some might consider aimlessley
I'd cross the world in search of clues
To who I am, why I always lose

A prayer to Mai on moonlit stump
Lunch of beetles form a lump
In my throat that gets so dry
No sign of water in desert sky
Sticking my arm in giant clam
Fishing for a magic ham
In molten lava I'd be soakin
Just to find another token

But after months of sun-moon-sun
I might begin to wish more fun
Being with friends bashing ferels
Spreading cheer singing Bawkmas carols
Plucking an Orga Eye from my kill
That would be a moment so fine
Or to taste the ultimate thrill:
Sneaking into Thoom conga line!

That glorious day has finally come
Where I briefly think my work is done
Having a chat with Master Mentus
He says, "Congratulations, my apprentice!"
Then heart sinks with setting sun
"Your work is not over, you have just begun"
But at least my tireless dedication
Did not yet lead to eradication

On the morning of the morrow
A sense of accomplishment drowns the sorrow
I would hope to get a spell
Or two instead of Hekus' silly bell
What would a fireball's fury perchance
Do to that vermine who bit my pants?

Eventually I would come to see
That fireballs were not to be
But though my hands might be empty
Really things were not so dour
I would have one thing:
That my Knowledge was Power

Perhaps I would be a tiny bit nervous
On the day I would perform my greatest service
Piercing my gaze through veil and murk
Keeping secrets is hard work!
I could turn the tables and lay the blame
Exposing to all Joe's Guessing Game
Expecting eighty would be silly
Lo and behold, it's sixty really!
Seeing numbers that do not lie
I'd be so happy I'd likely cry

Next would come, I must hesitantly tell
Attempts to escape Chum's eternal Hell
To live a life that's not in vain
Where exiles share and ranks rain
Where people would look up to me
And finally someday they would see
That I am more than just a bee
Buzzing around from tree to tree
And with a little bit of luck
I might even hear "You do not suck!"

Alas the trance was broken too early
I sit up with a start, sweaty and surly
My moonstone glows pale in the dawn
The dead call my name and my dream is gone

- Tigger